as is generally conceived, the only people who speak ‘proper’ english are us indians and the british. kindly note that this is far from the truth. i have discovered this in five months of being here. and i by no means am saying that our english is bad. you get the point, YEA?

yes. the three letters at the end of the previous sentence are the source of my statement. it is absolutely frustrating!!! note the following conversation in a mobile services shop –

me: can i have a five pound top-up please?
attendant: yorrite, yea? five pounds. yea?
me: yes. five pounds please.
attendant: five pounds yea. just a minute, and i’ll do it for you.
there you go! have a good day, yea.

anywhere you go, the ubiquitous ‘YEA’ hangs at the end of every goddamn sentence like a punctuation! so now, we have –

. = full stop, period

, = comma

; = semicolon

” = quotes

‘ = apostrophe

! = exclamation

YEA = stupid shit, nonsense!

and what’s with the “yorrite”? yes. i am all right. can’t you see i am walking on two feet like a normal human being, and that i have two eyes instead of seven? if you are so concerned about my well being, may i please direct your sorry ass to my bank? and then again, why do you have to kill me by adding the YEA at the end of that stupid platitude?

worst of all, this yorrite is the accepted greeting among everyone i meet in class or outside. where did plain old hello go? or even a hi is nice. yes, hi is still around. but it had mutated into a high pitched “hieeeee!!” and then come the flailing paraplegic arms and the cheek to cheek kisses, all wrapped up by a yorrite.


i hope i don’t get infected by yorritis. next time i call you guys and say the dreaded word, please remind me of taking caution, yea?


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